Deep Rest
We get so caught up in this mental idea of who we should be in order to be liked or to feel important. We try to polish our thoughts so that we can speak, react and look a part to be more "in".
We believe that if we could just do this thing, we would be happier. If we just hang onto this façade, we would be a little happier tomorrow.
We have no Hollywood experience in acting, but I bet you that you have been playing several characters throughout your life. Willingly or not.
I have played a part of a lost child.
I have played a part of the unloved.
I have played a part of the misunderstood.
I have played a part of the forbidden fruit.
I have played a part of a promiscuous goddess.
I have played a part of a working young mother.
I have played a part of a naïve girlfriend.
I have played a part of a lost soul.
I have played several roles, that I am a legend at starring roles.
Let me tell you, it is pretty fucking exhausting!
Jim Carrey said it best when he was describing depression. "You should think of the word 'depressed' as 'deep rest'. Your body needs to be depressed. It needs deep rest from the character you've been trying to play." He mentioned the many roles he played as one of the best Hollywood actors he grew to become. How he related to each character in the sense of him finding his own place in his current role in his life.
We are conditioned to believe that we need to be a certain way to get what we desire. We all desire to be someone. Oh, I wanted to so bad!
I was continually told as a child, that I would grow up to be a nobody. That I was never someone.
I grew up believing that...
if I showed that I cared, then I would be someone.
if I said "I love you more", then I would be someone.
if I finished school, then I would be someone.
if I took care of myself, then I would be someone.
if I just loved a little harder, then I would be someone.
if I had the best job, then I would be someone.
The most exhausting part of living, was living it trying to be "someone". Trying to prove so badly that I was someone.
Year after year of trying to be someone, I ended up losing myself a little more. I lost a hold of my true self, that I didn't even know who I was at all.
I was depressed of so badly playing all these roles that didn't get me what I thought was happiness. It didn't get me the recognition I so badly craved for years. It didn't get me anything at all!
In my adulthood I have learned that roles are SOOOO overrated. Roles are not what define who you truly are. Having a title that you think is important enough for recognition will get you somewhere, but not where you truly should be.
When I lost myself, it was so hard to answer the question of "Who am I?", without really using a title. I was so sad to use the titles, because when I said them out loud, it left a bitter taste, because I knew then it wasn't who I was meant to be.
Can you really answer "Who are you?" without using a title?
Can you really say your current role isn't causing you to be depressed?
Can you really say your human body isn't asking for a chance to 'deep rest'?
Take a journal and answer these questions...honestly. After doing so, ask yourself, "How can I make it better?" and "What can I take away from this?"
You see there is a lesson in every experience that we have here on this earth. I don't see it as just a coincidence, because I do not believe in coincidences. Everything is a part of our life's journey. It is up to us to use these experiences and draw actions that would lead us closer to our true purpose. Remember, you don't determine your true purpose either...that is already set in stone of what that is. We are on the current path to get us closer to that, whether you "remember" or not.
P.S.: One good read I'm currently on is 'Uncharted' by Colette Baron-Reid. As described by a reviewer, "Uncharted is a map, a guidebook, a reminder of all that we once knew, but agreed to forget, for the sake of our soul's growth as we relearn deeper still who we are and why we are here." And I would have to whole-heartedly agree with this. The book is amazing, and goes hand-in-hand with remembering.
I loved sharing this with you. If you would like to learn more on this topic, message me on Live Chat. To personally work with me, visit the Work With Me tab. Yvonne (Eve) xoxo